Wisdom for Dads

I had lunch yesterday with a BYU professor Dale Cressman and his wife Rebecca, and Raymond and Jeannette Hales Beckham, and Dean Stephen Jones and Department chair Brad Rawlins. I love the tidbits of wisdom I gain from visits like this with wonderful people who have much more experience than I do. It's really rare that I want to actually be just like a person I'm with, but I often gain great insights.

At one point, Sister Beckham mentioned, with some emotion, that she feels most disappointed she she sees young people "not living up to their potential." The memorable part of her comment was not the words, but the sense and emotion that I could clearly sense from her was that she felt many people had tremendous potential. I hope I can give my children that same feeling that I know they can do great things--as well as reach for my own personal potential. I imagine we all fall short of our true potential.

My favorite tidbit was from Rebecca Cressman, who asked about my young family and said she now very much enjoys her teenage years with her three boys. She mentioned some advice she had given to one young father relative of hers with several young children. She said she told this young father, "You should know that this is a temporary time you're going through with young children. You will get your wife back after awhile. But for now, she has a real challenge and will be very occupied--she'll be struggling all day just to hold it together and watching the clock tick down to the exact minute you said you'd be home. If you say you're going to be home at 5, than be there at that time. If you make it home by 5:15, those few minutes may seem like no big deal to you, but to her it is 15 very long minutes beyond what she has been telling herself she could barely handle. But the good news is, you'll get your wife back. When the children grow a bit older, she'll be back. This is just a particularly challenging time right now."

Those are some words of wisdom I wish I could have had a few years ago and not had to learn the hard way. It has taken me a few difficult experiences and a couple of days personally trying to actually do home-school for a full day to recognize the wisdom in this thought. I really do enjoy being with my children and helping them learn--actually wish I could stay home with them all day more often--but regardless, it is exhausting. I have an amazing wife who does much good and I can remember to make a diligent effort to be home when expected.

It's also one more reason my mother is my hero. She had some very energetic children, extremely high standards for herself and her family, and many times when Dad was working very long hours. I can definitely appreciate her efforts better now that I recognize more of the countless sacrifices she made on our behalf. It's remarkable how well she "held it together" under the challenging circumstances. Thank you, MOM!

Precious Times

Timothy is such a darling! He loves to bring me books, and expects me to sit on the couch or bed and read to him. One of my favorite things is to sit with him on my lap and to read books while he points to pictures and helps me count animals or objects in the books. Or--when he falls asleep in my arms while we're laying in bed together reading books.

Another favorite time is our bedtime routine of singing songs, reading books, and especially when I say it's personal prayer time and he kneels down, folds his arms, and says many words when prompted. It's truly a blessed time. Praying with my children, I often feel that a conduit opens direct to Heaven to create a pure signal.

Big Muscles

Last night, I (Varden) picked up two 25 pound bags of wheat and carried them downstairs to the food storage room. Alaina saw me pick them up and said, "Wow, Dad you are STRONG! You must have big muscles." I was wearing a leather jacket and long-sleeve shirt. "Dad, take off your jacket so I can feel your muscles. I have some muscles, but here on this part they are just soft." After I put the bags down, I took off my jacket and flexed my arms so she could feel. "Wow! Dad your muscles are hard!"

Talk about a huge ego boost! Lest you ever wonder why a beautiful 4-year-old princess gets so much attention from her dad--now you know.

It made all that time playing house with her as the "Mom" in the morning before work and last Saturday in-between projects well worth it.

More recent photos--09

Gotta see the whales, beach, sea world!

More california.    We saw about 6 whales on our ride, and a few times saw a couple of the whales quite close.  Then, plenty of dolphins as they played close to the boat.  If you go, we highly recommend Dave's Dolphin Safari at Dana Point Harbor.  The catamaran was built so you could easily stand right over the dolphins swimming just a couple of feet away.

The dolphins purposely seem to want to be close to the boat, would circle around and come back to us--just to play with us!  

California Jan 09

We had to get away to the warm weather when we saw the temperature was 70 degrees and sunny all week in Southern California!  

Here are a few photos of the beach.  Water was 54 degrees, but it was still fun with our wetsuits and playing in the sand.  Those dolphins are swimming wild in the open ocean--right along our boat, which you can see in the bottom right corner.